Name: Choked Inferno
Duration: P00H01M14S
Description: A therapist once told me that my anger is the part of me that loves me and knows that I deserve better. When I wrote this in 2021, there was so much I had to be angry about, and I was very, very tired of carrying around that rage. In 2022, I'm afraid that hasn't changed, but perhaps my anger can speak kindly to yours.

Choked Inferno

from Recovering Perfectionist by Ineloquent SD

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about

A therapist once told me that my anger is the part of me that loves me and knows that I deserve better. When I wrote this in 2021, there was so much I had to be angry about, and I was very, very tired of carrying around that rage. In 2022, I'm afraid that hasn't changed, but perhaps my anger can speak kindly to yours.

lyrics

I wish I could be angry,
But my rage is long burnt out.
The inferno has been choked down,
By too much fuel to count.

There's a pile of wood and refuse,
Over top a faltering flame.
Steady on it flickers,
Struggling to keep pace.

The light once lit the beach,
A beacon blazing miles around.
If you kneel close and squint,
Now you may just make it out.

No smoke signals across the sky -
No clear calls for help.
Only smothered smolderings,
Seething down in the dark.

I wish I could be angry,
But my rage is long burnt out.
Give me time to keep on kindling -
I'll fan back up the fire.

My anger loves me dearly,
It knows what I deserve.
It's temporarily tired,
But still it burns.

credits

from Recovering Perfectionist, released July 30, 2022
"Choked Inferno," written, orchestrated, and performed by Ineloquent SD, 2022.

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about

Ineloquent SD Charleston, South Carolina

Ineloquent SD is a queer musical cryptid. Their lyrics are heavily informed by their experiences with disability, chronic pain, poisoned perfectionism, and being queer in the South. Their instrumentation, on the other hand, is heavily informed by fucking around and finding out. They never much believed in being coherent or consistent. ... more

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